I hate today.

I hate today, for several reasons and please don't give me the whole "but there are starving children in Darfur blah blah blah..." everything is relative, yes they are starving (bitch is thin!) but I live here in Norwood and for my life today is ANNOYING ME.

• First reason...I have felt like I have a vitamin stuck in my throat all day, I have drank water, soda, coffee and eaten and it's still there.


• Work was bothersome; the paging system went down, and everyone that came to ask me something was irking me because just ask the QUESTION, don't give me the background, I am here to help you but I honestly do not have time for your story of why you need something, if you need something tell me and I will get it. I don't need details.


• Yesterday I fell off hard off the low-carb wagon directly onto 3 mini loafs of bread and butter from the Cheesecake Factory. Dammit. I need to wear a sign that says "Do not put delicious crusty warm bread and butter in front of me because you might lose a hand."


• I left work a little early to escape and decided to peruse the book selection at the Harvard Co-op across the street because I had like 20 minutes to kill before I had to run to the train. I didn't realize I got in line with a teller who liked to talk, to herself as she rang up my greeting cards. "Oh, this one isn't reading, hmmm I wonder why that is." SHUT UP! So as she conversed with paper products the buses drove by and I wasn't on them. So I fast walked to the train station, I had 13 minutes before my train came. Apparently I have only 2 speeds...fast and get the hell out of my way art student! I wish I had the life where I could casually stroll everywhere, but I don't so please people, do not stop in the middle of the sidewalk, or take up the whole thing as you wander about. And PS pull up your pants, it's not cool to have the top of your pants secured to your lower thigh with a belt. IT LOOKS STUPID.


• So I made it to the train, with 30 seconds to spare and as the train pulls up some kid was banging a can in the doorway of the train, like where we get on. As the train stopped I could see and smell what was in the can, tuna fish. Tuna juice was flying everywhere! It was disgusting, what the hell is he doing with a can of tuna fish on the commuter rail?! Did he have bread and a jar of mayo with him too? Was he eating it out of the can while riding the rails, shouldn't he have a handkerchief tied to a pole to do that. That may be the first hobo I have ever seen on the commuter rail.

So now I am home, I went and got a manicure so now I feel kinda better but I am STARVING and must wait for Mike to get home before I can eat. Yea, I know, we're adorable.

Crap. I might be a grown-up

I realized this morning that I might be a grown-up, crap. Not that I didn't want to be a grown-up, I'm not like Michael Jackson (creepy!) and want to live at an amusement part and have milk and cookies in bed with random 5 year olds. But damn man, I care about the weirdest stuff lately. For example these are some of the things I care about now as opposed to when I was 17:

• I go to the gym and work out to lose weight but also to maintain muscle tone as I age so that I don't get osteoporosis or lose the ability to climb stairs


• I care about my diet, too much sugar, too many carbs, must drink more water! and I try and stay away from fried foods (okay that one I admit is one I falter on, french fries are damn good)


• I am concerned about retirement! What!?


• I go to bed early, like 8:30 sometimes!


• I don't like going out on weekdays because I have to work the next day!


• I might apply to Grad School!


• I have money in my bank account AND I'M NOT SPENDING IT! Seriously, a few years ago I would go through my entire paycheck in 4 days! I used to say things like "Well, there are 12 days until I get paid again, and I am negative $40 in my bank account, so I should be okay."


• I take 4 supplements (B-12, Iron, Calcium + Vit. D AND a multi vitamin!) and I make Mike take vitamins now because they are good for you


• I go to work every friggin day Monday-Friday, I haven't played hookey because I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES!


• My bathroom is full of things that match


• I give blood, willingly

Dude...what happened. I used to be able to stay awake until 5am, I used to be able to eat bread and not fall asleep. Shit. I might be a grown-up. Oooooo maybe I could do stand up comedy like Jeff Foxworthy but actually be funny. Like "You might be a grown-up if..." oh the hilarity that would ensue!

Easter

It feels like Easter is off this year, 1) I can't eat candy this year and all I want is a bag of Cadbury mini eggs! Damn those things are so good! 2) It's freezing! How can we hide eggs outside filled with Jelly Beans when it's 30 degrees out! (Quick aside...my Aunt Biddy used to give rocking Easter Egg Hunts, she would give me and my cousin Matthew cards filled out with what kind of eggs we needed to look for; purple with yellow spots, green with stripes, it was so much fun! I also used to hide my jelly beans in the hollow bunny-thought I was clever. No.)

But what this holiday does bring around is annoying toys that make noise. Someone brought one in today, it's a duck. With goggles. and a towel. And it sings "Splish, Splash I was taking a bath". If I see it one more time it's gonna be splish splashing out the window.

Sucks about the candy though, Easter has the best candy, but if I eat it I will fall asleep. This is what my life is now; I came to this realization when I ate 3 pancakes and almost fell asleep at the wheel of jetta (that I now OWN!) and it was 11:30am on a Saturday.

Stupid metabolism.

PS why the hell is today called Good Friday! I know all about this is the day that Jebus was nailed to the cross and he had to walk or something or died, whatever...the point being (I just wrote pint instead of point...hmmm, where has my mind gone.) I didn't see that Mel Gibson movie where the guy with the last name that no one can pronounce was the one wearing the pointy crown. So why is it good that Jesus died today, shouldn't we be calling it not-good Friday, or whoops I gave my life for all your sins and all I got was this lousy crucifix?

My boyfriend is an asshole.

But not to me! We went yesterday to try to finagle a car deal at Quirk VW, I have a lease (shut up I know it was not the best idea, I have been told that...many times) and it's up soon so Mike and I went there to see what they could do for us, maybe lower the cost of the residual due on the lease, which is $10,000. Then they came up with this deal about buying the car back from me and getting another car through them, a used car. It's a bit tough to understand seeing how they want to buy something from me that I DON'T OWN!

I test drove some cars, I loved one so we went in to talk business. When we first came in Mike told the guy that we wanted my car that I lease now for $7,000 so when we came back to that table with an offer for $17,000 for the car I test drove, a car that is the same year as the one I drive now, oh wait I'm sorry mine is a 2005, the car I drove was a 2005 and a half. (What?) For some reason the car guy thought we had gained $10,000 in under 20 minutes, he must have been snorting bleach. So the guy brings over the finance guy because Mike was getting all ass-holey and saying that "Nothing over $10,o00" as he was banging the table. The finance guy (who PS had a gold dangle-y bracelet on!) that came over I HATED, he talked only to Mike until this exchange:

Soulless icky: "Your credit score isn't high enough to be a tier A"

Me: "Actually it's me, not him"

Butthead: "Whatever, you are a 660 that's a tier B, I'm a 750 I am a tier A so I get a 6.4% loan"

Me: "OOooooooo, congratulations"

From there it went downhill, we left and they called back this morning, negotiations continue...

Fancy shoes friday

I think I need like extra money to buy cute shoes that are comfy, like with heels. I hear Manolo Blahniks are comfy but they range from the cheap $450 to the slightly insane price for a shoe $1200. Seriously for a shoe. I think that is the gross national income of Ghana.

I am wearing my $35 black strappy shoes because Mike and I are going out to dinner for restaurant week tonight. We are going to Grotto which is near Beacon Hill, I went there once for this family style dinner they had, it was da bomb (yea I can say that-it's coming back). $70 for a 5 course meal and wine, all you can eat and drink and you were seated along 2 huge tables. We made friends for a night, from what I can remember from my mushroom risotto-pinot noir haze. Anywho...fancy shoes make my feets hurt, I mean I look fab but I want to be wearing my Dansko clogs which are ugly but allow me to not almost fall down every time I walk towards to the OR. I wonder if that is covered by workers comp.

JT

I heart Justin Timberlake and I just feel the need to profess it again and again. I went to a concert a few years ago that was him and Christina Agruggla (PS she was sooooo not good, despite starting the show straddling a pink motorcycle, shocking I know). The concert was awesome for many reasons 2 of which being: no beer lines because all the other concert goers were like 11 yrs old and I purchased a much much much too small white tank top with "I heart JT" on it. It was an actual heart too, it had glitter on it. It was $40.

But my love for JT is not a romantic love it is a love that makes me want to ruffle his hair and hug him. He's just like a puppy dog! A dancing Britney Spears dating puppy dog, but still a puppy dog. He's just so cute and I just want smoosh his cheeks!

Thank you.

LMA bus is messing with me

The shuttle bus from the T train stop to the hospital world (Longwood Avenue) is playing games with me, mind games. Damn you LMA shuttle! This is how they mess with people on their way to work who are probs already on the edge (it's morning, it sucks, I want to be in bed, wheres my coffee, why are you touching my hair, etc.):

• when bus is full, like people standing in aisles they yell to move back and keeping yelling that until someone (like me) ends up straddling the dude with the yeller teef


• when its freezing and/or raining or snowing one bus will leave and 3 others (seriously!) will be within view idling down the street, just idling watching a large group of us freeze as they sip their dunks and read their paper


• the bus will be cruising down the road when suddenly the driver gets a heart and decides to let car make a left in front of them so he SLAMS ON THE BRAKES and me and yeller teef get all the more close


• on the way to the train station from work the drivers decide no one could possibly be in a hurry or have to catch a train so they let hundreds of Northeastern college students cross randomly in front of the bus as time ticks away and Rebecca's train goes buh-bye

Bus man/lady/company-cut the crap!

Oh sweet jebus

So I heart most things British, their trashy magazines (that when you get them 'cross the pond they come with PRESENTS! like fun bags and stuff), their royal family, their beer, that Fergie song, the Spice Girls, etc. So I also think myself clever when I use their slang occasionally, such as bugger...which is the word I just wrote back to a doctor I work when when he said he couldn't work on a certain day. His response (no it wasn't :Ha ha you are so clever girl, what are you doing here! You should be on stage, you're a star!, nope wasn't that) his response was: "Nope. Do you even know what that word means?" I thought it was just British slang for dammit all! So he told me to google it, so I did...

Bugger is a vulgar word used in vernacular British English, Australian English, New Zealand English, South African English, and occasionally also in Malaysian English. When used in context it still retains its original meaning, implying sodomy (see buggery).

I asked a well respected physician to make me his prison bitch.

Hot.

Oh snap!

So I heart Jen Lancaster (heart her!), faboo author and she also has a blog (link to your right), so she had a contest and you had to describe yourself with one word. If she picked you, you got a book from one of the other authors she supports. And who won you ask? Well pickles...it WAS ME! I never win anything! I won like 20 bucks at keno months ago (yea it might kinda WT, what of it?) and I was thrilled for a week. So yea I won a book that I am sure will be hysterical and a page turner. Hot. (PS I used the word moxie)

On another note...

I would like to point out that a) all the shows I love to watch are about murder and that doesn't bother me, but the commercials do. Commercials are advertising aimed at a target audience (PS I love Target!), and the commercials that fill the time between more stories of other people's miseries are all aimed at old people. The majority of the commercials are about such things as Erectile Dysfunction, Bladder control problems, life insurance and fiber. And while all of these things are important, especially bladder control, what the hell? Shouldn't these commercials be advertising to all the cool 20 somethings who watch Forensic Files alone on a Saturday night while eating cheesecake? (I have a boyfriend!)

I call on A & E to include some adverts aimed at the younger kids, like commercials about how to treat VD and learn a trade from home, and PS these are still things that I am sure many folks in the "retirement communities" have to deal with. No seriously those things are like freshman dorms!

Bagel Sammich

I try to enjoy a bagel sammich from Au Bon Pain once or twice a week, usually on Mondays and Fridays. Mondays because Monday sucks and Fridays because Yea! it's Friday and I can do nothing on Saturday! Except for this past Saturday when I had to go to work for a few hours because there is no I in team. However there is a "me" in team, you just have to move some letters around.

I digress.

I purchased a bagel sammich this morning and it took f-o-r-e-v-e-r. I don't really eat the bagel part of the bagel sammich, I usually eat only half. So I open my bagel sammich and find egg, ham and bagel. I wrote down the on the little order sheet egg, ham and CHEESE! And essential part of a good bagel sammich! I just paid 4 dollars for egg and ham. The cheese holds it all together and makes it mushy and yummy and it makes me forget that I am not eating a bagel and cream cheese or a delicious scone like I really want to be eating. Next time I will make sure to circle and check the cheese box damn Au Bon Pain people!

Lazy Sunday

Oh I heart lazy Sundays, I spent the morning at little kids swim class with Mike's niece and nephew and then I went to Target. Oh how I heart Target. PS swim class was adorable! Owen and Sharlotte were so friggin cute! There was little baby in the class who was adorable! She couldn't have been more the 6 months old and her dad brought her to swim class which is like extra adorable.
And now I sit watching Rescue Me and I am going to nap at some point in the next few hours. Sigh...if only I could find someone to do my laundry for me I would be in heaven!