Coyote Ugly (the movie)

Mike was bothering me last night as I was trying to sleep, he put on the movie Coyote Ugly while we should have been relaxing and fading off to dream land. The movie irritates me, it's stupid so I asked him to change it. "Why don't you like it, why? Why? Why?"

Reasons Why Coyote Ugly (the movie) sucks:
By Rebecca Denahy Prendergast
Copyright

-Poor little Violet has no mommy and her daddy has a blue collar job but she’s going to move to the big city and be a STAR! (blah)
-Violet has a hidden talent for songwriting, but (gasp!) she has a fear of being on stage! (oooooooooooooo)
-Little Violet needs job in the big city, what to do, what to do…
-She meets a boy who pretends to be a music agent, but it was just a joke, but look! They fall in love (because as we all know finding someone who you actually like and might even love typically only takes 2 days when you move to a big city)
-Violet goes to a bar called Coyote Ugly to try out…she gets a trial run and can’t handle it…she leaves but on the way out she stops a fight, so the tough bar owner (with a heart of gold) gives her another chance
-A bunch of other typical shit happens (get in fight with boy and girls in bar, all become friends and Violet falls back in love with boy-who has a cute accent, of course!)
-Dad finds out about what she is doing, shock! But daddy finally accepts...Oh and Daddy has a heart attack...so Violet must succeed for him! (Yawn)
-Finally Violet gets to live her dream out (what a twist!) and performs on stage, but boyfriend shuts the lights out for her to help her overcome her stage fright (awwwwwwwww)
-And she becomes a successful song writer within 6 months of moving to new york city when she is only 21, yea cause that happens.
That is why this movie sucks! Seeing once (on a plane) is fine, after that…SUCKS

Block Island, RI + mopeds = disaster

So Erin and I were on Block Island this past weekend and we tried to go riding on a moped, how silly of us! I mean considering that we have a uterus and all!

So we went over to the booth and asked about renting some mopeds for the rest of the day until like 7pm. The guy didn't think we were funny so that should have been a warning.

So dude in booth says that someone will give us a lesson in the road, I get the friggin 12 yr old with the lip hair (it's not a mustache sweetheart) and the mirrored sunglasses AND a backwards baseball cap. So he mumbles something about turn this one this way and the brake on the other one, "Now, come toward me". He is 2 feet in front of me. So I go and then stop.

Buttboy: "No, you did that wrong, do this and don't stop hard and turn the handle and then stop. Now come towards me." 2 feet in front of me again. He is in the middle of the road and a car is coming down the street.

Me: "I'm not real comfortable driving into the center of the road and I really want to put my feet up"

Buttboy: "You can put your feet up later. Then mumble, mumble, "come towards me"

So I do...

Buttboy: "No, you have to do this"...and mimics WHAT I JUST DID!

Then Erin yells out: "Are you failing at this because I am!" So I yell back that I'm not sure but it doesn't look good. So Erin's guy tells her to get off the moped because she failed. And then the buttboy says: "Well you failed too" So I asked what I could do to not fail and buttboy said nothing. Then he asked me to do a u-turn so I turn towards my right.

Buttboy: "No that's wrong, this way"

Ths guy that was "training" Erin said, even before she got on the moped, that it didn't look good for her today and he didn't think she would make it. Ummmm...thanks for the vote of confidence asshole! Erin's interpretation was that she had put her head on a bat, was spun around and then told to run a straight line, that or we put on helmets and were hit in the head. I think it's like that but then they asked us to do Suduko. We still have no idea what happened!

So for the rest of the vacation we started to notice a strange phenomenon of testosterone, out of approx. 150-200 mopeds, 4 were driven by women. 4! And they were girls with flowing hair, they were kinda ummm...manish.

We did resist the urge to knock over all their mopeds throughout the evening, but barely.

So yea, Mr. Moped Man and your little friend can bugger off, I'm pretty sure they are running from the law or child support or something by hiding on this little island.

Jerkfaces.

Target

So I have today and tomorrow off because we are going to the WWE Raw show tonight at Moeghan Sun and I told Mike I was going to Target and I left a list on the kitchen table for him to add to. So I woke up this morning, go get the list and this is what I see:
-Brown socks, 2 pairs (Mike)
Who else would it be!?

Softball

Balls.
So I played softball with Mike's team again and I never made contact with the ball, I did walk to first and I ran to second and I hit the bag but I thought they had me, so I stepped off the bag. (they always do on TV!) and I missed the umpire (who totally wanted to leave as soon as he got there) whispering "safe", so I got tagged out. I argued but didn't make a difference; but the same thing happened at 3rd to the other team and he let that girl stay on base.

There is this rule in the league that we play in that there can't be 3 boys up in a row, you have to have a girl up so this...person goes up to bat and someone on our team says something like "You can't have 3 guys up in a row" and someone from the other team is like: "The 3rd person up is a girl, okay? Anybody else?"

Okay, if you are a girl and have a buzz cut and no boobs and no hips you can't really be angry because someone thinks you are a boy. And her/his name was Jean/Gene, hello...PAT!

The Dark Knight

Ryan and 2 of his film friends and Iwhen to the 12:01am showing of the Dark Knight last night, it was awesome. I thought I was going to fall asleep before the movie but once we got going I didn't even notice. Heath Ledger was so good as the Joker, so good. His acting was amazing. It really sucks that he has since died because he rocked that movie. Best scene involved him, a sticker and a nurse's uniform.

Really the movie was so good. I am exhausted because I went to bed at 3:30am and was woken up by the people paving the parking lot who rang the bell (twice) to ask if I owned one of the cars that was in the way. Ummm...I am wearing sweatpants and a coffee stained tank top, don't ring my doorbell unless you are giving me a package or an Us magazine, a new US magazine. Which by the by better be here today.

So the moral of the story is GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT and be amazed.

Why John McCain sucks (today's reason)

Mr. McCain, who with his wife, Cindy, has an adopted daughter, said flatly that he opposed allowing gay couples to adopt. “I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don’t believe in gay adoption,” he said. (NY Times)

Ummm...Mr. McCain, you are an ass. And clearly you have never met a gay couple with an adopted child or any gay couple, having 2 parents of the same gender has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING. What kids aren't going to learn .....if they have 2 parents of the same gender? Oh wait that's right, there is nothing you can in-put into that sentence that would make it sound sane.

Any child can have crappy parents, doesn't matter if its a man and a woman or 2 men and 2 women raising the kid. McCain left his first wife (and their 4 kids) because she was disfigured in a car accident while he was a POW. He left her for someone 20 years younger and an heiress to a beer fortune, his current wife Cindy. So in his little, little mind does this make him a good parent? Leaving his first wife to be a single mother? Well shit McCain at least she isn't a lesbian, right?

Asshole.

Effects of high gas prices

So like I said many posts ago, one of the effects/affects (?) of the increasing high gas prices was there would be more people on the train...YUP! I used to be able to always get a seat on the Needham train, to work and home, not so much anymore. Damn oil prices, see now they are bothering me. I mean I was slightly bothered when I filled up the gas tank and it was like $50, but I don't drive that much, only around Norwood and occasionally downtown. But now there are people who don't understand the unwritten rules of the commuter rail, like the 3 person seats are for 3 PEOPLE! Not 2 people and their bags! And, dude it's not your couch, you can't stretch out; its mass transit, not your living room! Argh!

On another note, I think I may have figured out when people get married or engaged why they go crazy and become different people...its the ring! Like Lord of the Rings! So people turn into Gollum...and are all like "my precious". Also I think weddings set up marriage for failure now-a-days, like this is the best day of your life, "your day" if you are a girl, so pretty much every other day is going to be crap compared to this one.

Issues that don't need to tissues

I am having issues today with my underpants, so I realized I need more underthingys so I went to Victoria's Secret because they were having a sale! Woo! So I got some cute underpants, washed them and started wearing them. I got 3 pairs, the first pair was fine, the 2nd pair I put on this morning...not so good. I was at the gym so I was kinda stuck with what I had, but either they have the wrong size on them or they are THE lowest waisted things EVER! I am hoping they have the wrong size because if not this ain't normal. I don't really get the super low waist pants and jeans, it could be because I have hips (and they don't lie) if I wore pants below my hips that would be bad for all people and body parts involved.

So all day I have been in uncomfortable underthings and I just want my comfy pants and real underwear!