ooops

So I cleaned the apt and I decided clean the stove, we have a self-cleaning stove and you just move the latch over and put it on clean and all the crap that was spilled in the stove bakes off. I have done it before and it takes like 4 hours so I turned it on and then went back to sitting on the couch. Mike came back from breakfast and walked in and was like: "What are you doing?" I looked up from the suction that is the internet completely unaware that the kitchen had filled with smoke. Mike: "You gotta put the fan on when you do that!" Ooops. He thought that the apt. smoke alarm would go off. Nope. He opened the front door and the condo fire alarm triggered and I started laughing, Mike was not quite as amused as me.

I told Mike to go get me an iced coffee and I would take care of this. I looked out the window and luckily only saw 2 people come out of our condo building so I knew not too many people were going to be disturbed by me. I saw Mike pacing on the phone, probably calling the building manager so I googled the non-emergency line for Norwood Fire Dept and called to tell them that I was an idiot and had set off the building alarm by trying to clean my stove but there wasn't an actual fire.

So I went outside and apologized profusely to our downstairs neighbors for being a jackass and setting of the alarm. I sent Mike away for iced coffee, again. I don't mind causing a fuss and being the center of attention but he isn't quite such a fan of it. Lights and sirens blaring, not 1 but 2 fire trucks and a command unit come to investigate my stove cleaning smoke out, I am guessing not a whole heck of a lot was going on in Norwood.

They shut the alarm off and brought out the PPD fan to clear out the smoke in the building so by the time Mike got back with the coffees everything was back to normal, except the burnt toast smell.

zee 30th year is upon us, I mean me

54 days...54 days until I am zee big 3-0. The only thing that is bothering me is that I am still not comfortable with my body, like I still have issues with it. Like I think I am still a fatty mcfat fat. And its all about my own perception I know that but still this is the one thing. I think I am going to try AGAIN to start operation Hot Rebecca tomorrow but its sucks because I am starving all day. Perhaps I should be a grown up and realize that this is the way I am supposed to be but it blows because a normal female past-time, shopping, is so not fun for me because loud printed shirts and black pants can only go so far.

So once again...operation Hot Rebecca starts tomorrow, again.

Sigh.
I'm already hungry.

I might actually one of the last sane people on earth, or well my idea of sane. Maybe I am just a huge bitch? But I don't think so...I think its that reality shows have warped my mind of how people should act. Of course I am watching Bridezillas and another girl is on it who wants to cry herself to sleep because her wedding party was not happy because she had an outdoor rehearsal in December and it is freezing out but she would like sympathy for her and is bemoaning "Why doesn't anyone love me?" I can actually think of about 35 reasons.
So these awful women are still getting married and they both treat their husbands-to-be awful! I don't get it. Why for the love of the pete would you stay with these horrible women!? When my friends and I were single we were always nice and not psycho and it took us forever to find men who didn't suck and loved us for us. Dude, everyone of these Bridezilla episodes I want to call the husbands and be like RUN!
Okay one of the crazy bitches has red eyeshadow, RED! WTF.

I need money, lots and lots of money

How the hell does anyone afford ANYTHING! I don't get how people are thriving and it isn't just this economy but in general, how do you afford anything you want! I mean the big things, house being #1. Mike and I went to Home Depot and engaged in a little dream land play time...where we have a house, with a back yard and a patio or deck in which Mike can cook on a giant grill ($500) and there could be a little sitting area with cool deck furniture ($800) with a washer/dryer inside ($1600).

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!

Mike and I make pretty good money and we can't afford anything. I am frustrated because we both work hard (he works harder) and we can't get anything that we want. How are these people doing it?

And forget about that other thing that couples do if they have been together a while...that can cost up to $25,000! I don't get it.

Okay....

So I am watching the new episode of Bridezillas and am AMAZED that anyone would want to marry either of these women! The first one is sooooo not cute and just yells at her poor fiance and the second one is throwing fits and gets into fights with everyone. How horrible and spoiled these girls are! Okay wait, the 25 yr old has 3 kids...she was busy! Oh and she just hit a crazy homeless woman in the head and is proud of it.
I thought when I was in my early 20s that it was okay to be a bitch but really all that accomplishes is making everyone upset, gets nothing done and makes you look like a tyrant. And the reason people are like this is because they have really low self esteem and are lost. Karma is going to bite these girls in the arse soon.
You can't give attention to people like that, just let them whine and bitch by themselves and don't paythem any mind. Its kinda like dealing with 13 yr old girls. I have had to deal with people like this and really the only way to deal with them is to ignore them even if they are 45 acting like this.
Okay wait...the red headed not cute girl is dressed in a Harry Potter outfit and her fiance is dressed like Batman, ummm no one else is dressed up.
Okay 5 minutes later...Batman is getting into a scuffle in a parking lot with a WT guy with a cigarette hanging out is his mouth and no shirt on. This is like COPS! But without the fuzzed out faces.

Rock City

Mike and I are off to Detroit Rock City tomorrow, woo! We are going to see the Red Sox Tuesday and Wednesday night and to visit Mike's cousin Ann and her family, they live about an hour outside of Detroit. I googled stuff to do in Detroit and the search engine came back with "Why the hell would you go to Detroit for fun?" No it didn't really say that but I have been searching for stuff for us to do while we are out that way and I found a zoo which sounds pretty cool. Many people at work have asked me why I am going to Detroit and I of course am a wiseass and answer with something snarky, here are some examples of my answers to the question

"What are you going to do in Detroit?:

• "I dunno, shoot up?"


• "Visit the 8 Mile trailer park so I can fully understand the depth of Emimen's misery."


• "Rock it with Kid Rock and be come one of his ladiez"


• "Walk around with a sign that says "Ha ha ha motor industry, ha ha ha!"


• Or a sign that says: "I got your bail out right here."


• "Transport illegals to Canada from America."


• "See if I can stand in 2 countries at the same time."


• "Wear a t-shirt that says I heart Michael Moore." (Roger & Me documentary reference)


• "Find me a Red Wing t-shirt to wear around my friend Ken and see how long it takes him to smack me!"


• "Mike and I are going to restart the Motown sound"