God lord I am headed towards old-dom

So its 8:16 in the PM on a Saturday and I am in my comfy pants and sitting on the couch, oh wait not the couch the loooooooveseat. Okay now I have moved onto the actual couch. The point of this thought is I am in and not out, not out at a bar, not out tossing back shots, etc. I am in comfy pants, not something boob showing.
There are several things that made me realize I am headed towards old-dom:

• I am concerned about my fiber intake
• I make sure I eat vegetables
• I go to bed at 9pm, and that's late to me
• I want to purchase a house, like a whole house!
• If I had to live with roommates again I would freak the F*** out
• the thought of not having health insurance makes me ill (hence the need for insurance)

Dude. Can I even still say that?

Selfish

I am selfish, I admit it, I am not afraid, I am selfish and I don't give a crap. I know when/if I have kids I will have to stop being selfish but right now I have no spawn and I only take care of myself and sometimes Mike. (I remind him to take vitamins and advise him that fried crab rangoons are probably not the wisest choice) So right now I will be selfish, like if I don't want to do something, I just don't. I mean I go to work because I get paid to and money buys me food, US magazines and Sephora make-up. And if something is hard, I don't do it. Like running, I would like to be one of those people who can just throw on some sneakers and go for a run and enjoy it but I HATE it! It makes my boobs hurt, I can't breathe and then I get boogers and I am miserable. So yea, no thanks. I am not one of those people that likes to push themselves and find joy in that. Ew.

But I am aware of my selfishness and I would give it up in a heartbeat for a child but since there is no bebe there will be money spent on travel to places I want to go and New Moon water bottles.

You know you want one.

this is gross

Okay, Rachel Zoe (above) is a celebrity stylist, she picks out clothing and accessories for celebrities to wear to tell us serfs what is awesome and what we should aspire to look like. She is setting a standard, she looks like a starving child in Africa. This is gross! Dude! This is not naturally thin, I have cousins who are naturally thin, they look healthy, this woman looks unhealthy and disgusting.

Rachel Zoe needs to eat a chicken parm sub every day for a month!