Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Strange


As I was leaving work today I got involved in a conversation and one of the doctors I work with was talking about people who split their tongue, like they do it to themselves...maybe they want to be the lizard man/woman at the circus. But, the one thing that came to my mind was if you get that done, you can't possibly ever eat ice cream in an enjoyable way again. Think about it...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Crazies

Saw this movie, pretty good but I am talking about the crazies who I interact with on a daily basis...first off, I went to the grocery store last week because I had to grab a brownie to eat because I had a horrendous day at work and a brownie sundae was the only thing that would cure it. As I was walking out of the store I made the mistake of making quick eye contact with a woman in a motorized wheel chair who was sitting on the sidewalk with her cart full of groceries. Also with her was another woman (daughter?) who was mentally incapacitated. Why did I have to make eye contact!? Why?! The woman then tells me that she has called for a ride but they aren't here yet and she doesn't want to wait anymore so can I give her a ride up the street. Ummm...what? She wanted me, in lil'jetta, to put her motorized wheelchair, her, her daughter and about 6 bags of groceries and drive her somewhere. Umm...no. All I could come up with was that I couldn't because my boyfriend was waiting for me, thats the best I had! Then as I was driving away I kind of felt like a jerk but really, I don't know these people and I am not going to drive them around...visions came to me of all of us smushed in my car and her asking me for money.
The  next crazy is Poo, who lives downstairs from us, we call her Poo because her license plate used to have 3 numbers and then the letters POO. She used to put the club on her car when she parked it on the street in Norwood, but not when she was 40 feet to the right in her parking spot. The club was protecting her 1988 Honda Civic, believe me, no one wants to steal that car, if you brought it into a chop shop they would laugh at you for hours. She now has a newer car and she got a new license plate, maybe she caught on that her nickname was poo. So last night I am doing my taxes on turbo tax and I hear a car horn honk like 4 times in a row, WTF! Its about 9pm, which I know is like early for some people but we get up at 5am so we are getting ready for bed. So then the horn keeps honking. Goddammit! WTF! I look out the window and see that someone has parked in Poo's parking space and she wants to park! Horrors! So I call Mike over to let him in on the drama and the horn keeps on honking. Okay, seriously, knock it off! What if we had a baby and that repeated honking woke it up? I would be PIST!
After about 5 minutes of honking, someone comes out and all I can hear is his side of the conversation: "I'm sorry! I know, I know! I came out to move it and apologize there is no reason to talk to me like that!"
Oh Poo...bitch be crazy! She then parks and slams the main door and her own front door. Yea, that'll teach them. I would like to point out that she has another parking space, like 4 feet from the one she was trying to get in to. Now I admit, I get annoyed when people park in our spot too but I just leave a note and block them in so they are on their own if they want to leave before I do. But, come on! Poo...WTF. So then...Mike and I get into bed and then Poo starts hammering stuff, for like 30 minutes! Dude, its 9:30 on a Monday night, what do you possibly have to hammer that can't wait until tomorrow.
Seriously.